Yesterday I thought a good birthday/newly unemployeed gift to myself would be a MacBook Pro. After the loss of Ibook, I got a refurbished 12 inch powerbook, but its just not fast enough to be my main computer. So I need a new one.

Yesterday I tried to get approved for apple credit card and I got an email confirming it today. So I had to sing in and do all this bullshit to set it up, only to find out my credit limit is $750.

A macbook is like, at least $2000.

Its pretty fucking stupid.

Avril still doesnt like your girlfriend.

seriously, she fucking hates her.

Im anxiously awaiting the arrival of the new Avril and Bright Eyes cds. They are late. Hopefully they'll be here tomorrow!

In case you get as concerned about Jason Shwartzman as I do, he has a new band. AND ITS AMAZING.

http://www.myspace.com/coconutrecords


Also, Im pretty concerned about this show shear genius on bravo. Its like project runway, only with hair and somehow a lot gay-er. My favorite person is obviously Dr. Boogie. Thats his name. I dont know why, there hasnt been any explanation for it. Everyone just calls him Dr. Boogie. He wears a different color bedazzled bandana everyday.
Im also concerned about the host guy, who as first i thought had some kinda gay/forgien accent. But after further investigation, Im pretty sure he just has a speech impediment.

Scared, I think

I woke up around 5am today and wasnt able to go back to sleep. Ive been so sure of my decision up until today, and now Im becoming filed with fear and regret.

Ive been trying to think up a way to sum up my feelings on this, but I havent really been able to. For anyone who doesnt know, Ive decided to leave New York City. Im currently working out my last 2 weeks, my last day at work is next Wednesday and Im moving back to Pa the following Saturday, I dont have any real plans, I dont have a new job, I dont really know what Im going to do.

I havent been happy here since maybe, the first month I moved here. I dont really like my job, Ive learned a lot and gotten a good experience, but I cant see myself here any longer than I have been. That, and I cant barely afford to survive here. 2/3 of my money goes towards the rent and utilities of an apartment that I hate where I live with a girl that I really cant stand. Do you know what its like to listen to some girl cry everyday for six months over a loser boyfriend? I do. And it fucking sucks. I have an option to get out of my lease right now, and I decided to take it.

While I can give endless reason for why Im leaving, I can only think of one for staying but Im still scared and worried that I wont be able to move forward. I dont really know what I want, where I want to be, or what I want to do, but Im pretty sure that I dont want to do this anymore.

So, as of April 28, Ill no longer be a New Yorker and Ill be back in Lancaster. I kinda feel like I failed myself, but I think I have. Im just not happy here. Right now, Im planning on moving to Philadelphia. I may move back in with Caitlin, maybe not, Im just going to have to wait it out.

Things

So there are some exciting things going on!

Today, the new Bright Eyes cd comes out. And next Tuesday, Avril comes out! Just in time for driving in warm weather with the windows down in the car that I dont own!

Weekend

This weekend was sucessful. If you measure success in aquiring things you didn't have to pay for. I got a giant design annual from AIGA as a "gradation gift". Its about a year late, but I guess its the thought that counts.

After reading through said book, I went outside to go do some stuff, and sitting right there on the curb was a pretty decent shelf thing. So I took it inside and it filled the empty whole in my room pretty well. So I sat the giant AIGA book on it and felt like I had had a pretty successful day without even having to leave my block.

I also made a pretty big desicion about what Im going to be doing in the near future. I cant go into detail here because all the parties that this effects have yet to be informed. They'll figure it out though.